f a n ta s y

why can't you even get it?

Hai.

Here comes another problems again. Seriously, I'm freaking tired of having problems months by months, weeks by weeks, day by day, hours by hours, minutes by minutes and seconds by seconds.

I've told you before.

If you hate/dislike/annoyed with me then you should have unfriend me since before.

I don't even mind being alone, you know.

NOT until I feel you're annoying.

I don't mind being alone 'cause it's a thousands better than I'm with you guys but no one talk to me. Yeah, like a stone, frozen on its place. Right?

I've been wondering.

Guise, you freaking know who you are. Yes, you're the one I'm mentioning about.

Have you guys feel... this lonely thingy before I did? -points to you guise-

Well, it happened on me like thousands times alr.

I seriously don't know how many times my tears had flow out. Yes, I'm a coward. I'm hopeless. Call me a crybaby or a person who's easily touched or so what because I. don't. care. This is me. So why the hell I must not being myself? I'm a strong, cheerful and bubbly person before, yes, no, NOT until you started to ignore me.

It's not only you, but you bring your friends along. Oh how good. You should bring your parents along to ignore me.

I really, really want you to feel how will you feel if you're on my situation right now. Having lots of homeworks, having difficulties on studying and everything.

Hey, I don't mind if you saw this post lah. I know you'll ignore me in whatever way.

I know you're absolutely pretty, brilliant, friendly. While me? Ugliest person in the Earth, an idiot person and an awkward person sometimes. Who am I comparing to you who's completely perfect? Even boys admire you 'cause of your white-milk skin.

But hey, although I'm ugly, idiot and awkward, I have my own attitude too.

OKAY, talk behind my back. Talk talk talk and talk like there's no tmr.

But your sins - I'm not going to take responsibility of it.

Obviously you had asked for an apology for me like hundreds times already. I repeat, HUNDREDS. But tell me, how many times did you do your mistakes again? How many times did you ignore me?

I tried my best to be as friendly as I can, but it's just me that I can't.

Did you know I'm tired of crying? Did you know my eyebags turn worst than before? Did you know I lost my appetite? Did you know I have been thinner? Did you know I almost turn crazy? Did you know I'm sick? Did you know I lost my mind? Did you know I lost my friends? And did you know my freaking problems?!

No. Yup.

Why?

'Cause you and I are different. You, being liked. Me, being hated.

Oh wait.

Why would you know, right?

I'm just a loser.

And you're always, and forever will be a winner.

Dang.

Only two people in that school understand me. Only two I told you. How pathetic I am right. Luckily they were there by my side but who knows they will leave me one day.

Don't worry. I still have Anis although she's so far away from me.

I believe she won't leave me alone but if she does too, then just let me die. I don't have anyone else, so why I must be breathing?

Some people thought I'm very lucky and I don't even know why.

I'm sorry, but I'm the unluckiest person in the Earth.

You talked behind my back. Okay, you may think I'm such an idiot for not knowing that. If you talked about me to someone else then you should be careful. I have spies. If I don't have them I'll find out that too.